What We Remember

Don’t we tend to remember the worst things that happen to us…sometimes more than the positive things? Somehow they can make a bigger splash in our psyche! So out of all things we’ve experienced over the last few months, we might remember those that didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. This is true especially if we’re in a certain frame of mind, right? Why do we do this?

If we entertain the fact there are different sides to us, it’s interesting to note that we might have a side of us that can be fairly negative. Maybe we felt victimized once. So that part of us might have it all figured out like this: “I’ll never be caught off guard again! I’ll be ready for the bad stuff when it happens.” And thus we begin to start focusing on the negative rather than the positive.

Or may be it’s just that we were so vulnerable when something scary or terrible happened that from that point on we began to view ourselves as a victim. “Things never go right for me.” “I’ll never make it.” So while we struggle to remain positive about life, subconsciously, a part of us may feel dragged down and victimized. So now it’s having pessimistic expectations that supports our inner world view.

However, I have something to share here! Hearing the following story years ago, showed me a way to gradually change my own inner world view. It struck me so much that I have used what it taught me every day. And thus it’s part of what has helped me to change the glasses through which I perceive my life. Now I love and appreciate my life, along with its ups and downs and the worries I have. And it is simplicity itself. It has brought me sweetness. Or even better said: Using it, I have bought sweetness to myself.

Apparently this is a true story in which a couple of Florida kids set off into their newly married life joyfully and in love. But alas! over the months their financial life went from just getting by to barely getting by. Things kept going wrong for them, one thing after another. This was increasingly unsettling for them. It was getting scary and a sense of desperation began to haunt them.

But the young can be incorrigible and bold. Thank goodness they were. Thus they decided to try a nothing-to-lose experiment they’s heard of, along with hitting the pavement daily in search of work. Each day they would sit down at their little table by the window overlooking the ocean and write down every positive thing that happened to them that day or night, any big or little thing that they were grateful for. Any thing they saw, felt or noticed. Well, life can be surprising because almost immediately, there was an almost imperceptible difference in their lives. But what exactly was it?

It was so subtle at first; they couldn’t quite put their finger on it. But it was good and hope began to sprout the tiniest of green leaves. As one day followed another, they got better at noticing what was good in their lives. Things that they’d just taken for granted. It hit them that they assumed that some of these good things, like the roof over their head, were their right in stead of something to be thankful for. Their life view began to change. And something else began to change too. Actual positive things started happening. He finally found work. A little later she did too. Not only did their point of view change, their very lives began to change!

This story touched me all those years ago and  I’ve never forgotten it. I can vouch for their experience. The more gratitude I feel, the more I love my life and the more connected I feel to all the living things around me. I recommend it.